Responses of the Week

including the best of hate/great mail of the week!

This page, will (hopefully) be updated weekly, and will include some of the responses I get every week, and my responses to them. You'll be seeing hate mail, and non hate mail here! And now, for my standard response-page spiel:

I would like to take the time to reiterate some things about my opinions and such. I do not hate import cars. I do not hate Hondas. I do not think American cars are superior. Nor do I think Japanese cars are superior. Really, the Rice-Boy page has nothing to do with that argument Also, I am perfectly aware that there are some guys with Civics or other imports that are fast. The rice-boy page has nothing to do with the cars that are actually fast. Only the ones that pretend to be fast but are not.

Another thing is that you will probably notice that I have put more hate mail up here than friendly mail. This is not because I get more hate mail, like some people (mostly rice-boys) seem to think. It's just that hate mail is just so much more interesting to read! I get about one piece of hate mail from a rice boy for about every 70-80 response I get from someone who likes this page.


Updated 29 July 1999


Okay, so what if it's almost been two months. I've got somethign REAL good this time. But don't I always? Well most of the time anyway? How about a letter from an irate owner of a blue Lamborghini Diablo? Hmmm?? Oh whatever, here we go!!


Previous Weeks:

7 June 1999
9 April 1999 | 5 February 1999 | 21 December 1998
3 December 1998 | 25 November 1998 | 4 August 1998


Hate Mail of the Week

Staying true to the past trend of being the Responses of the Weak is this fine specimin of an e-mail. It is from none other than the owner of the blue Diablo featured in Hall of Shame 8! He even challenged me to put his message up here, so how could I resist? I mean, anyone who has ever doubted the reasoning behind me putting a Diablo in the Hall of Shame can now be put to rest, that's how dumb he is!!

First I will quote the complete message just so that you can see for yourself...

Guesss who i am ? Im the guy with the Diablo SV that you unauthorisingly took a picture of.....and since your such a little jelous peon like many people i encounter....proceded too just talk alota inaccurate shit about.....because your whole aim was too just try too cut down somebody who you know your not equal too.....and probably never have a life compared too mine....especially at my young age of 25.

First off.....if you had any dignity which you obviously dont....because you have a website dedicated too ridiculing people......you would tell the whole story.

If your a regular at the Autocross events.....you should know that i have attended several times.....and the time and photo you posted are accurate of my first run on a track that i just arrived at....with no walk through....and taking it easy the first couple times around.

If you payed any attention.....im sure you know how my times basically dropped about 10-15 seconds the 2nd time around.....and proceded too get dramitically better of 4-8 seconds for the next several times.

Im probably wasting my time telling you this.....you probably know damn well how much my times improved....and how the things you said was only aimed at slandering me because of your sorry little poor life......and not being honest.

You can bet....its not a good thing too have very rich people who know many other people too be on their bad side.

I challenge you too put up my letter alongside your comments.......in uncensored form.......but you probably wont.....because your whole aim is too talk shit.....and shit is all your full of !

Sincerally,

Mr.Diablo

P.S. Dont bother replying......your email will be deleted as soon as i receive it.....because its probably full of shit also.

And now to complete my acceptance of his "challenge" I will post up his message along side my comments:

Guesss who i am ? Im the guy with the Diablo SV that you unauthorisingly took a picture of.....

Why hello. Although, I believe I did authorisingly take the picture, since you were in a public place, in broad daylight. I don't suppose that you think that all the other people (and there were a lot) who took pictures of your car (albeit, for more benign reasons) were doing it unauthorisingly, do you? Maybe you should go chase after all of them too. Maybe you could unauthorisingly send some unsolicited e-mail.

and since your such a little jelous peon like many people i encounter....

Yup. So jealous of your dad who buys you everything. Like who would actually believe that someone with your level of intelligence (as evidenced by your e-mail which you unauthorisingly sent me), that was not either a famous athlete or actor, could actually make enough money to afford a car like that??

C'mon man, your dad bought you that car, and the Diablo you had before it, and the Viper and the F355 you also have... and the rhinestones you used to wear. Everyone in the San Diego street racing scene knows that.

Please don't try to pretend that you are some successful, self-made man that went through a lot of shit to be where he is, because all you are is a spoiled little brat, and that makes you no better than the 17 year-old kid that gets a brand new M3 for getting a 1300 on his SAT's... except that you couldn't even do that much...

proceded too just talk alota inaccurate shit about.....because your whole aim was too just try too cut down somebody who you know your not equal too.....and probably never have a life compared too mine....especially at my young age of 25.

Oh, I know I'm not equal to you. I pray to God that I'm not equal to you. I can't imagine what life would be like, being you. Not understanding why people point and laugh when you have all this nice stuff. Not being able to realize that sometimes, people aren't jealous, they're just pointing and laughing.

First off.....if you had any dignity which you obviously dont....because you have a website dedicated too ridiculing people......you would tell the whole story.

If you had any dignity, which you obviously don't, you wouldn't have challenged me to post up this e-mail. Then again, maybe you have some twisted, false sense of dignity, based on the material possessions that someone else bought for you, and are just too dumb to realize what a poor representation of you your e-mail really is.

If your a regular at the Autocross events.....you should know that i have attended several times.....and the time and photo you posted are accurate of my first run on a track that i just arrived at....with no walk through....and taking it easy the first couple times around.

Sure you missed the walk through. But is that any excuse for going off course on the VERY FIRST TURN? The one that is in plain view in front of all the spectators so that even if you didn't walk the course, you'd at least be able to see the other cars clearly make a U-turn instead of the 90 degree left you made at extremely low speeds?

Do you know how amped up people were to see a fine machine as yours blast around the course? Do you know how many people were pointing and laughing as you plowed right though the cones on that first turn? Do you know how many people lost any and all respect for you for the rest of their lives when you did that?

If you payed any attention.....im sure you know how my times basically dropped about 10-15 seconds the 2nd time around.....and proceded too get dramitically better of 4-8 seconds for the next several times.

So I guess that would put you right on par with the Civics and Miatas that were out there. That's pretty impressive. I'm sorry for insulting you.

Im probably wasting my time telling you this.....you probably know damn well how much my times improved....and how the things you said was only aimed at slandering me because of your sorry little poor life......and not being honest.

That's right. I wasn't honest. I didn't tell anybody about how you missed the first turn.

You can bet....its not a good thing too have very rich people who know many other people too be on their bad side.

What are you going to do? Run and tell daddy that I made fun of you? Oh man I'm so scared. But that's okay, because my daddy can beat up your daddy because my daddy is BATMAN!! So nyea nyah, I moded (moted!? how do you spell that?) you!!

I challenge you too put up my letter alongside your comments.......in uncensored form.......but you probably wont.....because your whole aim is too talk shit.....and shit is all your full of !

How could I not post your message? After all the flak I take from people from having such a great car in a hall of shame? What better way to prove how dumb you really are than to post your poor, pathetic response? Wow, that was a whole paragraph composed completely of rhetorical questions.

Sincerally,

Mr.Diablo

I sincerally believe people who draw their entire identities from their car (or other material possessions, as many rice-boys do) are really sad. I mean, so many rice-boys (and you too, Mr. Diablo) choose AOL screen names that reflect their car (or their dream car, as the case may be). And let me assure you readers, his e-mail address has the word "Diablo" in it, though I won't, as an act of charity, reveal it.

P.S. Dont bother replying......your email will be deleted as soon as i receive it.....because its probably full of shit also.

Well that's your choice. I did write back to you. I wanted to make sure that you really wanted me to post this message of yours up. I mean, I knew that you probably thought it would make me look really dumb; I wanted to make sure you knew that all it did was make you look even more ridiculous than your pathetic autocrossing times.

But I guess you just deleted my warnings to you. I was trying to be nice, but your ignorance has put you at a loss. Oh well. You'll be happy as long as you believe I'm a jealous peon.


Great Mail of the Week

To all my hate-mailers that have told me that my website has no point and that it would never change anybody anyway, I offer up this proof of the otherwise:

whats up bryan.....i'm a 15/m who WAS considering a rice burner such as an an eclipse GSX or prelude SH with big wheels, loud exhaust, and custom spoiler.......until i came to your web site......it has changed my outlook on cars.....your page is the best, funniest car page i HAVE EVER BEEN TO.....

Well, it looks like I have brought yet another soul back from the dark side of the force...

And now, to any of my hate-mailers who has ever questioned my intelligence, my motives for putting up my site, my motivation for maintaining it, or the fact that I am not the only one that feels this way about rice-boys, I offer up this message, from Diana in Redmond, Washington:

Hi Bryan, I've just returned from a more thorough look-see at your web site. You don't have to reply to this, I understand that you're busy. I just wanted to say a few things.

First, I like your site and your attitude. You're obviously very intelligent, and an excellent writer...good writing is so hard to find these days, and sound logic even scarcer. After reading through the hate mail, I wonder how you've held your temper so well. I wouldn't have. Your replies were reasonable *and* totally funny...though with the material these dingbats hand you, you really can't lose. The only complaint I have is that the orange text on the MSG board is too pale and kind of hard to read.

dO PeEple RIllY tALk LYkE tHiS ThEEz DaYze? I wonder what it sounds like. (I live in white-as-rice Redmond, Washington.) And why is everyone trying to sound Ebonic? Who in the hell do they think they're fooling? Not *this* lady. I knew tough guys, and they didn't waste time putting wings on little cars. They'd have yours up on blocks and the engine out so fast you'd think you'd never had one in the first place.

And I know that people identify with their cars, but...
And maybe it's their baby, but...
And the cars are an extension of their soul and personality, but...

...are these people all out of their MINDS? Jeeez!

You certainly have blown up a hornet's nest! This is more than your typical "flame the Webmaster 'cause he can't find out where I live" business. I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around the strength of their reactions. I mean, it's just a car...I guess they must feel that this is all that they have, and all that they are, and that you're throwing down on their entire *life*? Because they aren't acting like you insulted their car...it's more like you borrowed it, and rammed it into a tree! Wow!

As to the insults and profanity...Pay no attention to these jerks. What *I* know about cars I learned by watching the Dukes Of Hazzard, but I don't need a degree in Rocket Science to tell who's talking sense here. Your broader point--that of spending big bucks on garbage to look cool--is damn intelligent. "Rice" is everywhere, and I'm probably as much a sucker for it as anybody, but after this, maybe I'll have a clue when the fastest thing on a car is the sticker.

Cheers!

Diana

Jeez, I couldn't have said it better myself. And say hi to good ol' Bill Gates for me, without whom, none of this would be possible. Then shoot him or something.


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Last Modified 7/29/1999

Disclaimer: The responses published here may have been edited for length and/or content. The return addresses of those who respond are kept secret unless I am otherwise instructed.